Healthy marriages don’t happen by chance. Just because you fall in love with someone and they make you blissfully happy, doesn’t mean it will always be that way. A marriage doesn’t just go along with no care or upkeep required. It is like your car and requires regular gas, servicing and attention. Fundamentals of a healthy marriage fall into the following categories:
1. Love What generally attracted you to each other?
Your partner must be able to fulfill your emotional and intimate needs. As the years pass, your feelings towards each other may change but on some level your emotional and intimate needs must still be met for you to have a healthy marriage. For couples who are facing divorce the reason often given for them wanting to be apart is that they don’t love each other any more. Love is a fundamental part of any healthy marriage.
Being able to communicate with your spouse is paramount to a successful relationship. If you cant express what your wants and needs are, in a positive way, then how is your partner going to know what they are? Open, honest communication is required in a healthy marriage.
3. Mutual respect
You must value your partner.This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them on everything but your must value their philosophies and what they bring to the marriage. Respect must be mutual; otherwise the marriage is not one of equality.
4. Shared likes
Having similar interests and life philosophies will add to a healthy marriage. This isn’t a necessity but it helps if you like the same things or if not, you can discuss your differences in a positive open manner. Know your spouse and share their experiences with them.
5. Ability to resolve conflict
Knowing how to express your problems and then resolve them in a positive way is essential for a healthy marriage. If you don’t open up to your problems, your partner won’t know what is wrong. Couples who don’t discuss their issues are headed for divorce.
6. Able to grow within the marriage
Both partners will change over the years and both partners must be willing to accept these changes and grow to accept them. Learn to be flexible.
If you can’t trust each other then you have no basis for your marriage. This is one of the most important fundamentals of marriage.
8. Be friends as well as lovers Do you like your spouse? Do you consider them a friend? Your partner must be able to satisfy your emotional needs and be someone you can talk to. You should enjoy each others company!
9. Share responsibilities
There are two people in every marriage and both must be jointly responsible for the running of the union. If you share the responsibilities that come with money, children, housework etc., both of you will feel equal in the marriage.
10. Be real with each other
If you can’t be your true self with your spouse than who can you be yourself with?